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I firmly hold the belief that it is always possible to transform. My view is you truly can teach an old dog new tricks, as long as the experienced individual is open-minded and eager for knowledge. So long as the individual in question is willing to admit when it was wrong, and work to become a improved version.

Alright, I confess, the metaphor applies to me. And the lesson I am trying to learn, although I am set in my ways? It is an significant challenge, a feat I have grappled with, repeatedly, for my all my days. My ongoing effort … to grow less fearful of huntsman spiders. Apologies to all the other spiders that exist; I have to be pragmatic about my capacity for development as a human. The target inevitably is the huntsman because it is large, in charge, and the one I encounter most often. Including a trio of instances in the previous seven days. In my own living space. You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head with discomfort as I type.

It's unlikely I’ll ever reach “admirer” status, but my project has been at least becoming a standard level of composure about them.

A deep-seated fear of spiders dating back to my youth (unlike other children who are fascinated by them). Growing up, I had plenty of male siblings around to ensure I never had to confront any personally, but I still panicked if one was obviously in the immediate vicinity as me. Vividly, I recall of one morning when I was eight, my family still asleep, and attempting to manage a spider that had made its way onto the lounge-room wall. I “managed” with it by positioning myself at a great distance, nearly crossing the threshold (in case it ran after me), and emptying half a bottle of insect spray toward it. The chemical cloud missed the spider, but it succeeded in affecting and disturb everyone in my house.

As I got older, my romantic partner at the time or living with was, by default, the least afraid of spiders in our pairing, and therefore responsible for handling the situation, while I produced whimpers of distress and beat a hasty retreat. When finding myself alone, my method was simply to exit the space, turn off the light and try to erase the memory of its presence before I had to re-enter.

Recently, I was a guest at a pal's residence where there was a notably big huntsman who lived in the sill, primarily hanging out. In order to be less fearful, I imagined the spider as a 'girlie', a girlie, one of us, just chilling in the sun and eavesdropping on us yap. Admittedly, it appears extremely dumb, but it had an impact (a little bit). Or, the deliberate resolution to become more fearless worked.

Be that as it may, I've made an effort to continue. I contemplate all the logical reasons not to be scared. It is a fact that huntsman spiders are not dangerous to humans. I understand they consume things like buzzing nuisances (creatures I despise). I am cognizant they are one of the world's exquisite, harmless-to-humans creatures.

Alas, they do continue to move like that. They move in the utterly horrifying and somehow offensive way imaginable. The sight of their numerous appendages propelling them at that frightening pace causes my ancient psyche to enter panic mode. They claim to only have a standard octet of limbs, but I believe that multiplies when they get going.

Yet it is no fault of their own that they have scary legs, and they have an equal entitlement to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I’ve found that employing the techniques of trying not to have a visceral panic reaction and run away when I see one, working to keep calm and collected, and deliberately thinking about their good points, has begun to yield results.

Simply due to the reality that they are hairy creatures that dart around at an alarming rate in a way that haunts my sleep, does not justify they warrant my loathing, or my girly screams. I can admit when my reactions have been misguided and fueled by baseless terror. I’m not sure I’ll ever make it to the “trapping one under a cup and escorting it to the garden” phase, but miracles happen. There’s a few years within this veteran of life yet.